by Jeff | Jul 27, 2014
On this week’s edition of HopeNet Radio, Kristen returns to talk about things she wishes her parents knew before making a destructive decision that nearly cost her life. Her book, Life In Spite of Me, can be found here.
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I Wish My Parents Knew… by Kristen Jane Anderson
1. I also wish they had known more about depression, how common it can be, as well as the triggers, the signs, and how easy it is to fall into a depression.
2. That what I needed more than anything was a growing, thriving, relationship with the God who made me.
3. That the youth group they’d brought me to was only a place to have fun and I needed so much more.
4. That I had been raped.
5. That I could hardly understand what I was feeling, or how to put it into words and that asking me questions might have been helpful.
6. That even though they’d taken me to a Christian Counselor she never gave me any spiritual direction or encouragement.
7. That I didn’t really like drinking, sneaking out, smoking and doing all the things I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
8. That one of the reasons I didn’t talk to them more was because I was afraid of punishments, especially with my friends because they’re what were keeping me holding on.
9. That I wanted to make them proud, not worry them.
10. That I was trying to protect them too.
11. That being in school basically complicated my issues. I think it would have helped me if I would have been taken out and put in an intense counseling program.
12. That our family needed to be centered on Christ.
13. That the church we were in was dead and that God wanted so much more for all of us.
14. I also wish they had known the power of God, the Bible, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
15. That I needed someone who knew God pouring into me.
by Jeff | Jul 26, 2014
Life Lesson #1: Take your time.
Right off the bat, the announcers declared Kacy’s intention to take her time with each challenge and it paid off.
Sometimes when you rush, you get sloppy. Things get forgotten and tasks aren’t completed to perfection. Maybe you even overlook important details. Pace yourself in the workplace, in life and in relationships. Investing time in the present is worth it for the future.
Life Lesson #2: Choose a partner who supports you.
Kacy’s boyfriend seems like the perfect life partner. His looks of pride, admiration and love were displayed the entire time she competed and were enough to melt the iciest of hearts.
We all deserve a partner to support us unconditionally; one who won’t feel threatened by our strength or our confidence or our success; one who will scale a tower to congratulate us on our accomplishments.
Don’t settle for someone who will hold you back; instead, look for the person who will help you grow emotionally, intellectually and physically. One of the joys of love is the ability to hold each other up and make one another better citizens of the world.
Don’t dampen your light for someone who won’t push you to shine your brightest.
Life Lesson #3: Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith.
As shown by the Pole Grasper challenge, sometimes the gaps in your life seem too big. Like, no matter how much you want something, you might fail, slip through the cracks and hit rock bottom.
Don’t let that stop you. As the saying goes, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Remove yourself from your comfort zone and do something exciting or new or a little bit scary. Nine times out of 10, you’ll amaze yourself.
Life Lesson #4: Set a goal for yourself, say it out loud and then reach it.
Before the competition, Mighty Kacy told the announcers that she was going to finish the course, and while they thought her determination was cute, they didn’t believe her. However, Catanzaro was hellbent on reaching her goal and mind over matter is real.
Setting goals for yourself is important, but saying them out loud is the key. Telling others what you want from life automatically ups the ante and holds you accountable for your actions.
Don’t be afraid to vocalize your dreams because it might just be the extra motivation you need to work harder for that promotion, half marathon, new apartment, or whatever it is you desire.
Life Lesson #5: When you think you’re out of steam, push harder.
One of the hardest things for some of us to realize is that we are capable of more than we believe. We might only be pseudo-adults, but life can be hard. It can get us down, strip us of our confidence and make us feel alone.
Just look at Kacy in the final challenge, right before the buzzer. She was tired and spent. But, just as the announcers were describing how impossible the 4-foot-wide obstacle would be for her, she frog-jumped her way to the buzzer, in record time.
So, you might feel like you’re all out of energy. You might feel like quitting, but don’t. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, the universe will intervene and your body and mind will get you to the end of any obstacle, in amazing ways.
Life Lesson #6: When you deserve it, the world will cheer you on.
There’s no denying that life’s a rat race. Hell, half of our friends would sell us out for a promotion or a raise. However, when you accomplish something truly amazing, the world can’t help but notice, and your competitors will only be able to cheer you on.
Original article from EliteDaily.com
by Jeff | Jul 25, 2014
1. I Love You, No Matter What
Let your son know you love him unconditionally. Emphasize that he does not need to be good, successful, or smart for you to love him.
2. I Respect You
Your son deserves respect too. You will teach your son a lot about respecting other people’s values and boundaries, when you show him respect. Mutual respect is key to a strong relationship with your son.
3. I’m Here For You
Be supportive in his decisions, as long as it is not something that will cause him harm. There are many adults living with resentment and regret because their parents did not support their dreams and goals.
4. I Am Listening
Listen without judgement or criticism. Listen with out self-referencing. You don’t need to relate or like what he is saying. Just listen.
5. You Brighten My Day!
Let your son know how much joy he brings into your life. Show him that he is a blessing.
6. I Believe in You
Tell him what unique qualities you admire. Support his strengths, dreams and goals.
7. Tell Me More
Be inquisitive in a good way. Show enthusiasm when he is speaking. Use your tone and body language to show you are paying attention. Be curious about what he is saying.
8. I Want To Understand
Let your son know when you do not understand what he is going through. Ask him to explain and elaborate. Don’t jump to conclusions and attack his character.
9. Thank You!
Show gratitude for the little things. Thank him for helping out.
10. Let Me Help You
Your son may not always ask for help, even if he needs it. If your son needs help, be there with your love and encouragement.
What are some others?
Original post: Raising Great Men
by Jeff | Jul 21, 2014
Here’s a list of the things that I’ve found have controlled me at some point in my life.
Money
Seemingly obvious, money does influence many people, especially those in decision-making positions of leadership. When Jesus said that we can’t serve both God and mammon (money), He wasn’t kidding. We do stupid things for a couple bucks.
Parents
No matter what age you are, many would have a hard time disappointing Mom and Dad over something small. You might even hear your Mom’s voice in your head before making an important decision. Those who labored to raise us have tremendous weight in our lives. And some of us never grow up because of it.
Relationships
What would you do for love? The truth is, we’re all looking for love and meaningful relationships in life. And when we find them, we don’t want to fail them. And sometimes, we allow ourselves to be ruled by a few significant relationships in life. You might even have made a few important choices based on what a couple of these friends were doing at the time. Relationships can be a great thing in our life. It can also be the source of the biggest pain we can ever know in this world. And when we get disappointed by one of them, it can be tramatic.
My Past
This ties in with the last one a little. You let your past control who you become. History does have a way of repeating and we often end up making the same mistakes more than once in life. Some people have a really difficult time letting go of what the past was. And I’m not just talking about past failures or pains. I’m also talking about success. We can really fixate on significant moments in our past to define who we become in life. This is not good. But it’s a reality.
Social Acceptance
Want to disappoint everyone? Try winning the approval of everyone and you’ve found the secret. That’s right. Seeking approval from everyone will eventually lead to disappointment and despair. So, what can we do? Disappoint a few people just to win a few others’ approval? Maybe. But then you’ll feel guilty for letting the others down. It’s a miserable cycle.
Anger & Emotions
It’s truly amazing and disturbing to see the world events escalate based on a few people’s angry emotions. Anger does something to a person that can easily become contagious and spread like a wildfire. Get a bunch of angry people together, and watch a riot break out. One decision rooted in anger can change the course of your life or someone else’s life in an instant. Do not let your anger rule you.
The Spirit
There’s only one thing that I’ve allowed to control me that has produced strong, life-changing, positive results in my life. Namely, surrendering to the Holy Spirit. Every other thing on this list has left me feeling more insecure, lonely, inadequate or… angry. The Spirit works from the inside-out. Most everything else works opposite that to try to change our circumstances. And none are permanent changes. The others are cyclical and temporary. Learn more about the Spirit in your life today.
by Jeff | Jul 20, 2014
Tonight, Kristen Jane Anderson shares the things she wished she knew before making a destructive decision that nearly cost her life. Her book, Life In Spite of Me, can be found here.
Podcast: Download
I wish I knew… by Kristen Jane Anderson
1. The Gospel. Having grown up in church much of my life, I never heard what it meant to have a relationship with God.
2. Depression – how common it can be, as well as the triggers, the signs, and how easy it is to fall into a depression.
3. I was suicidal. I thought about things normal people wouldn’t think about.
4. My mom and even some of my friends didn’t have it all together or figured out.
5. Isolation breeds depression.
6. I didn’t have to keep so much of the stress and pain I was feeling to myself. I especially wish I would have shared it with my parents.
7. My parents weren’t trying to hurt me at all. They just wanted to help me.
8. It wasn’t my job to protect my parents.
9. There were really good youth groups at churches nearby that I would have enjoyed being a part of.
10. It would get better, that it always does, and that God had really good things planned ahead of me. (Jeremiah 29:11)
11. God was near, that He cared about me more than I could have ever imagined (even about the little things), and He seriously wanted a relationship with me.
12. The blessing of the body of Christ, the friends, the leaders, and the music. I didn’t know what I was missing
13. Although Jesus had never sinned, He could sympathize with my weaknesses. (Hebrews 4:15)
14. Jesus didn’t come for the healthy. He came for the sick. (Mark 2:17)
15. The power of God, the Bible, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
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