#097: Creating More Emotional Margin In Life

by Jeff | Sep 6, 2015

Burnout. The point of emotional emptiness. Is there a way to make it through life without giving up because of burnout? Creating emotional margin in your life is the first step. Jeff and Dave have some ideas and hope you will start to live with more to give.

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The Notes

When we are emotionally resilient, we can confront our problems with a sense of hope and power. -Richard Swenson, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives

[Tweet ” Life isn’t always smooth sailing. The bigger the upset, the more margin you need. #HNRTB “]
Emotional margin generally takes more time than physical or mental margin, but it should still be an important factor in what you undertake.

In the midst of it, I didn’t give myself emotional margin and tried to carry on as if nothing happened. That didn’t work, and I eventually shut down to essentials. And I didn’t handle those as well as I thought I did, either, which added to the stress and turmoil. Needless to say, none of my planned projects got done this summer.

Pace yourself better. Check out this post at the Simple Productivity Blog.

In order to be a good leader one must:

1. Understand that there is a God and they are not Him.
2. Understand there is a plan and it is not theirs.
3. Understand that the real problem in life is sin and that I am the sinner and all I deal with are sinners and have the same problem and same solution.
4. Responded to God’s invitation and accept His gift of life offered through His son Jesus.
5. Understand that “time and chance” have more to do with success that skill, rhetoric and manipulation and that God is the one who controls the time and chance.
6. Abide with God, Delight in His Word
7. Desires to put flesh on the plans and desires of God.
8. Desires to be put in a position to make others successful.

Leadership is really not an arrangement, it is a relationship. It is about following God and what is right and doing so in public. It is about making those around us successful

Forgiveness plays a big part in maintaining strong emotional margin

Have you ever noticed how much stress you hold on to when you choose not to forgive someone? Unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness… these all wear away at our emotional health until we have expunged it all. Here is a simple assessment from Ron Edmondson to see whether you have some unforgiveness eroding at your emotional margin.

The first thought test.

When the first thought you have about them is not the injury they caused in your life you have probably extended forgiveness. You should be able to have normal thoughts about the person occasionally. Remember, you are dropping the right to get even — the grudge you held against them.

An opportunity to help them test.

Ask yourself: Would you help them if you knew they were in trouble and you had the ability? Most likely this is someone you once cared about — perhaps even loved. You would have assisted them if they needed help at one point. While I’m not suggesting you would subject yourself to abuse or further harm, or that you are obligated to help them, or even you should, but would you in your heart want to see them prosper or would you still want to see them come to harm? This is a huge test of forgiveness. CONTINUE READING

Bottom Line

You need emotional margin. If you find yourself worn out and feeling like you’re on the verge of burnout, the best thing you can do is to go to someone you know you can trust and share these feelings. We don’t get to that point by accident. In fact, many giving people will neglect their own self-care because they’re so caught up in the pressing matters of another’s life. Take 15 minutes every day to assess your emotional margin. Are you giving too much? Are you not pouring into relationships enough and withdrawing? Balance in life is a fleeting pursuit. Instead, make each day its own. Routine is good. Setting up your day with emotional margin is also wise.